Surreal Becomes Real... and Nipple Casts
Yesterday, when I went in for my surgery, I made an interesting observation.
Most people are uncomfortable in hospitals... which isn't surprising because they're not really the most comfortable places to be... not even for the patients. Or maybe especially for the patients.
Hospitals are generally very sterile-feeling places... for a reason. The first being, of course, that they should be sterile places, and they want you to both respect and appreciate that fact. Strangely, the sterile, clinical environment helps you feel more at ease in a situation in which you are very vulnerable, both emotionally and physically.
Although the staff are generally complete strangers, they behave as if they've known you for years. I'm sure this behavior is designed to accomplish a number of goals: (1) hopefully, it helps you feel a little more comfortable in a stressful situation, (2) you're most likely going to get naked in front of them at some point, so it probably makes you feel more comfortable doing so, (3) it helps them earn your trust, (4) it's kindness.
This intimacy with strangers in a sterile environment makes the entire situation feel very surreal and, in some ways, very unreal.
But, when you spend a lot of time in hospitals, the strange becomes commonplace and familiar. I didn't really realize that until I went in for surgery yesterday. It's been a while since I've had to go in for anything, and all of my treatment last year was at the Ann Arbor location. But yesterday, I went to the Saline location for surgery. And, even though I'd never stepped foot through the doors of that hospital until yesterday, it was all very familiar.
And, suddenly, the familiarity was strange. After spending a year visiting the hospital on a bi-weekly, then daily, basis, I had become comfortable with the surreal. I felt at home in the situation. The surreal had become normal.
I just wanted to share that because I guess I was a bit surprised by it. The truth of the matter was that the experience had become familiar and normal a long time ago, but I only noticed it in a place that I had never been before. Interesting.
Anyway, I was also able to observe my surgery. I was awake for the entire procedure and wasn't even given a sedative. I was given local anesthesia and that's it. I learned that my doctor likes to listen to Sting while he's performing surgery. That was good for me, because I like Sting too. I'm sure Sting isn't the only music he listens to, but it was the CD he chose for my surgery.
I didn't really watch my surgery all the way through. It's a little bit disturbing to see someone cutting into ou and to see the blood, but not feel any of it. So, I only glanced down now and then to observe his progress. It was really fascinating to see how he reconstructed my nipple though. It looked really natural!
I can't wait to see them when they're healed. Right now, they're covered with bandages and a "nipple cast." When I saw my doctor constructing something to protect the nipples while they heal, I named them "nipple casts." He used syringes to make them.
Using the picture to the right as an example, he constructed these nipple casts from a syringe with the plunger removed. He cut the end of the syringe off at about where the red line is on the photo. Then, he placed this tip over the nipple and used steri-strips to secure it in place.
Yes, it looks a little funny at the moment, and I've discovered a couple of tricks to more or less hide this under my shirt. But walking out of the hospital yesterday, I have to admit that I felt a bit like Madonna.
posted by Tonua @ 4:59 PM
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