Cruise Control

Wow. It's hard to believe that I'm standing on the other side of my treatment.

Almost exactly a year ago, I noticed something strange about my left breast. Shortly after, I was diagnosed with inflammatory breast cancer... a terrifying diagnosis. I remember the fear I felt when the diagnosis was confirmed (somehow I already knew). But, I also remember the peace and confidence I felt after meeting with my oncologist for the first time. I knew when I walked out of that appointment that everything would be okay.

It took a little while for okay to come. First, I had to endure several months of chemotherapy. But I was lucky. I never got sick and even the fatigue was fairly minimal. I felt the effects of chemo the first couple of days following each treatment, but after that, I felt pretty normal.

I even got used to the hair loss and felt perfectly comfortable walking around bald. In some ways, it was even liberating. It cut about 20-30 minutes off of my morning routine because I didn't have to wash and style it anymore. But, after my last chemo session in July, I was looking forward to getting my hair back.

In August, I had a mastectomy. I elected to have both breasts removed rather than risk going through this again. And, as terrified as I was going into the surgery, I always knew that was the right decision. This was the first time in my life I was going to have major surgery, and I have to admit the prospect scared me. It was the first time since my initial diagnosis that I was scared.

When I woke up after surgery, it was with relief that it was over. But since I had absolutely no awareness during the time I was out, it was also with a sense of, "Well, that wasn't so bad." Within a few weeks, I was recovered and back at work. I thought it was going to be difficult to see myself without breasts, but I found that wasn't so bad either. For a while, I even considered skipping the reconstruction. But, in the end, I decided to go forward with it.

In the meantime, I went through several weeks of radiation therapy. My only discomfort was a topical one in the area being treated. It was like getting a severe sunburn. And, although my treatment ended in November, my skin is still tanned in the area.

I even went back for two more rounds of chemotherapy, just in case. It was a decision based on the fact that they had found some live cancer cells in the breast tissue and lymph nodes removed during my mastectomy. I didn't want to take a chance that it was spreading to other areas of my body, so I decided to have a little extra dosage to make sure that it is really out of my system. My last treatment was January 5, and my hair is on the brink of growing back. I have a few fine, wispy hairs there now, but I can see the dark hair just below the scalp getting ready to come back.

Right now, I'm nearly recovered from my reconstructive surgery, which took place January 29. Although I expected a much more difficult recovery, I found that recovery has been a breeze. With the exception of an aching back (as a result of not being able to straighten up completely during healing), I experienced almost no pain whatsoever. My entire medical team has been amazed at my recovery and how quickly my incisions healed.

Today, I met with my oncologist, and I officially have entered the "maintenance phase" (my words) of my recovery. I still have a couple of things left be done with the reconstruction (nipples, for instance), but it's all out-patient surgery from here. Beyond that, I will be taking an estrogen-inhibitor called Tamoxifin to help make sure the cancer doesn't come back (it likes to attach itself to estrogen).

There is now no longer any evidence of cancer in my body and my blood counts are good. From here on out, I will be seeing my oncologist and my radiation oncologist, alternately, every three months. I'll see my oncologist in the spring and fall and my radiation oncologist in the summer and winter. This will continue for a few years. I won't be tested any further unless something happens that causes us concern. So, at this point, it's kind of like cruise control.

So, I made it. I'm officially a cancer survivor. I'm happy and grateful... and I'm ready to give my focus to something else. So, with that in mind, I will be posting less frequently on this blog. After I'm fully recovered from my surgery and my hair has come back, I'll post an "after" photo. I may also occasionally post information about breast cancer, but, for the most part, I won't be posting to this blog very often.

However, if you want to keep up with what is going on in my daily life, feel free to check out my other blog: My Stream of Consciousness.

I just want to send out a thanks to all my friends and family that have been there for me throughout this process. I also want to send a thanks to everyone for their prayers and positive energy. I know there are plenty of people out there that I've never even met that kept me in their prayers and sent me positive energy. Thank you... thank you all.