Taming the Savage Breast

"The future is not some place we are going, but one we are creating. The paths are not to be found, but made. And the activity of making them changes both the maker and their destination."
John Schaar

Friday, April 14, 2006

5 Hours in the Hospital? Or a Sci-fi Movie?

Today, I spent 5 hours at the hospital having tests run. But the tests were so cool, that it was like being in a sci-fi film... or the future. The future is now!
I know the saying isn't original, and even me saying it about this particular experience isn't original because I said it to Mike at the hospital... but I thought it beared repeating.
Here's a rundown of my day...

I arrive at the hospital imaging center at 11:00 and check-in for my "bone scan injection." Sounds scary, doesn't it? That's what I thought too. I'm picturing a giant, fat needle that they have to poke into my spine. Yikes!!!

After about a 45-minute wait, they take me back to a room and.... give me an IV. It was pretty simple and painless, actually. All the techs today were totally cool and let Mike film just about everything. So, Mike got some great footage of all the radioactive warnings around and of them administering the IV in which, yes, they injected me with radioactive material. That's to make my bones glow on the bone scan. More on that later.

Afterwards, we headed over to the Reichert Center (on the other side of the hospital campus) for my CAT scan. They give me banana-flavored barium sulfate to drink. It was about the consistency of Elmer's glue—and I imagine that if you added banana flavoring to Elmer's glue, it probably tasted pretty similar to this too. It was cold, so that helped, and it only started getting terrible about halfway through... or if you thought about it. And I don't recommend it warm. Although, you don't have a choice. There's a certain amount you have to save until they call you in. And you have to wait an hour after you drink the first part before they can call you in. So... warm banana barium shake... mmmm... NOT.

Mike actually couldn't film the CAT scan because he couldn't be in the room while it was happening... for his own safety. In fact, I was the only person in the room during the CAT scan... something to think about. But, they did let him come in afterwards and film the equipment and interview me in the room. One of the techs was also happy to pitch in and offer information on camera... which was really cool.

The CAT scan itself was super fast and easy. First, they hooked me up to an IV. Then, they ran me through this machine twice while I held my breath each time. It wasn't even long enough for it to become hard to hold my breath. Then, they turned on something in the machine that start rotating around me super fast. This was for "contrasting" and caused me to heat up from the inside out. It literally felt like I was in a microwave! It also felt like I was peeing my pants (even though I wasn't), but, thankfully, they warned me about that and I could just ignore it. For about a minute, there was a weird metallic flavor in my mouth, but nothing intolerable. While this was all happening, they ran me through the machine two more times, and then I was done. The whole thing took less than 10 minutes.

After that, we grabbed a quick lunch at Wendy's and watched this guy who looked homeless, but drove a pretty nice car. When we mentioned something to the staff about him, they referred to him as "The Potato Guy." There's a story there, and I'll tell it, but not this post. I'll save it for another time.

Then, we went back to the hospital for the final test of the day... the one where they took the glowing image of my skeleton. Mike was able to film this, so we have some pretty cool footage of my skeleton for the documentary! Awesome!! That took about 20 minutes during which I had to hold perfectly still. Anyone who knows me probably realizes that this was the most challenging part of my entire day.

We walked out of the hospital at 4:00. It was a long day, but a really interesting one too. Mike kept me laughing all day (as he will), so it was also a pretty fun day.

So, shout out to Mike:

Thanks, Mike. It was super cool to have you here with me today. Thanks for keeping it fun. :)

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home

Free Hit Counter
Free Counter